Starting Over Isn’t Losing. It’s Leveling Up.
I want to be honest with you about something.
About a months ago now, my life looked like it was falling apart in one area while it was falling into place in another. I was making the biggest business move of my career relocating Salon RaChe’ after fourteen years in the same location. At the exact same time, I was dealing with a sudden, painful disappointment that had nothing to do with my business at all. It knocked the wind out of me.
I’m not here to relive the details of what happened. What I want to talk about is what happened after because I think a lot of women reading this are in their own version of “after” right now. Maybe it’s a breakup. Maybe it’s a job loss. Maybe it’s a plan you built your whole identity around, and it just… ended.
Here’s what I learned.
I had to stop blaming myself for what I saw and ignored.
If you’re honest with yourself, you probably saw some signs too in whatever situation you’re navigating. That doesn’t make you foolish. It makes you human. We ignore red flags because we’re hoping, because we want something to work, because walking away is harder than staying and hoping it changes. I had to forgive myself for that before I could move forward from it.
I had to isolate on purpose, for a short time.
Not to hide. Not to shut people out forever. I flew home to Miami and spent the week alone in my house. Cleaning. Clearing. Sitting in silence. I needed space away from everyone’s opinions and everyone’s comfort so I could hear my own voice again. Isolation, used correctly, isn’t running away it’s how you get quiet enough to actually think.
I had to look in the mirror and ask myself real questions.
Not “why did this happen to me.” Different questions. What did I get right? What am I proud of? What do I actually want next? I realized I don’t always get everything right in life none of us do but I have gotten a lot of things right. Twenty-six years in this industry. Twenty years as a salon owner. A brand-new space I get to call mine. That’s not nothing. That’s proof.
I had to replace rumination with action.
Instead of replaying the disappointment on a loop, I picked up a new skill for my business. I redirected the same energy I was spending on hurt into something that moves me forward. That single decision do something instead of dwelling is what actually shifted my mindset, more than any mantra ever could.
Here’s the truth I keep coming back to: the universe removes what no longer serves you. It doesn’t always feel like a gift in the moment. It feels like loss. But loss and growth can happen on the same timeline. They did for me.
If you’re in your own “starting over” season right now I need you to know something. Starting over with a clearer mind, a stronger sense of self, and a better perspective isn’t starting behind. It’s starting ahead of where you were.
You don’t have to have it all figured out today. You just have to stop ruminating long enough to take one small step forward. That’s where it begins.
Rachel V.
Founder, @femininity_byrachelv
